why aren’t there divorce cakes?

pretty sure cake makes everything better. ice cream, too. or, better yet—both. which is why i’ve decided to adopt “cake or death?” as my new personal motto. when i wake up every day, i will ask myself this question, and it will invariably lead me to focus more on the things that don’t s*ck, which is especially important in the s*ck-all month of february. some days will inevitably still be “death” days. but, for the time being, this guy wants to try keeping on the “cake” side.